At my cousin’s shower a few weeks ago, someone rendered the bride a wise piece of advice…
“Remember, the more you do… the more you have to do!”
Oh how I wish someone would have tapped me on the shoulder many moons ago and told me to put down the paint brush and back away from the tool box. Little did I know my ability to be handy was going to eventually bite me in my old lady ass. Over the past two decades of marriage I have painted, wallpapered, stripped, refinished, and repaired my way into superstar handy man status. In my earlier years, I was proud of my mechanical abilities. I must have been smoking some sort of epoxy-crack as I think I may have thought that I looked cute in a tool belt.
I guess at 26 it was cute.
Problem is…at 44 it sucks.
Odd thing is it’s a bit of two prong problem. First, Sean thinks I can do anything. Like that one time after we had a new patio put in (Um…no. I don’t do poured concrete!) and we needed a retaining wall. Sean thought it would be stellar if, instead of hiring a masonry person to build the wall which would be uber-expensive, I would build the wall (because I must look like I can haul retaining wall bricks the size boulders around the yard).
Which leads me to the second part of the problem. After years of doing home improvement projects myself, I’ve grown cocky. Meaning, there’s a giant part of me that is still like, “Yeah. I can do that.” Then about fifteen minutes into the job, after I’ve been to Lowes and spent a few hundred dollars getting all the stuff I need, I realize that I’m a total asshole because I have no business building a retaining wall. For starters, you’d think by now I’d be well aware of my limitations one of which is measuring. I suck at measuring. I’m more of an ‘eyeball it’ type of gal, and when building a wall that has to…you know…retain things…turns out measuring is kind of important. In addition, I need to consistently remind myself of my age. I’m 44. I’m tired, and I have five kids who generate mountains of laundry and require annoying things like three meals a day. Doing everything they need while building a wall is a bit of juggle and something has to give. Usually it’s the laundry and that’s never good.